Spencer Abel is About to Fight a Non-Binary Ninja, Which is Certain to Be His Crowning Achievement in Embarrassing Rough n' Rowdy Performances
Look, we all hate the Abel Brothers. Every time one of them opens their mouths we consider setting our phones on fire, then driving straight to Nantucket and setting Dave Portnoy's house on fire for subjecting us to these pathetic, disgusting, pathetic humans. But then you remember that every few months or so, we get to watch them step into the ring, brimming with confidence, and get knocked the fuck out by somebody who really shouldn't be able to knockout anyone, but compared to an Abel Brother looks like a combination of Muhammad Ali and The Hulk.
For those of us who hate the Abel Brothers… tonight is their magnum opus of sucking. It's not even a question whether or not they're going to lose. They're 100% losing. But the main event, Zach Abel vs Mikey Bets… it's at least not embarrassing to lose to Mikey Bets. Mikey Bets will probably beat him in embarrassing fashion. But at least it's a fair fight (gender-wise).
But for my money, Spencer Abel's fight is the ticket. For everybody on the internet who were up and arms over the sanctity of women's boxing during this years Olympics. Don't you worry. Rough n' Rowdy is doing the opposite of the Olympics. We have the "fair fight" people want to see.
I put "fair fight" in quotations, because you can't really call any fight that involves an Abel Brother a fair fight. The Abel Brother's were born to lose. Not just in fights. But in life. Now, we have Spencer Abel, who talks an impossible amount of shit… who for some reason thinks he's not a complete joke in the ring…. putting himself up against someone who's been pumping their bodies full of estrogen for years.
I don't know why Spencer Abel is doing this to himself. He knows he's going to lose. He knows he's going to walk out of Rough n' Rowdy as a complete fucking embarrassment once again. But hey… if he keeps fighting… then maybe Dave will be kind enough to kick him a few thousand dollars again.
The fight is coming up soon. It's not too late to buy. If you want to watch a cocky loser get his ass kicked by a Non-Binary Loser… you know where to go.